casino weblog

So I got me a little jolly device. He thinks - well, we can suspend judgement on that for so long as he keeps paying me - he thinks I should explain myself. Reckons he needs to make sure all the right people get their taste of the good stuff and we’re both of us out to oblige him. Damn, but some of this stuff is good! Makes me wanna give up the poker and the slot machines, and settle down with a bottle or two to enjoy my retirement. Anyways, the young fellah just called. Caught me in a mellow mood for once. In one piece I’m saying there’s, “a proper mathematical playing strategy for video poker.” In the next, I’m saying there’s a gambler’s fallacy and you can’t predict the cards. He thinks they doesn’t fit right together. Look around online. You’ll see a small army of people touting their systems for beating all casino games with a house advantage. Play slot machines, win big. Win at blackjack without counting. When I was growing up, my mother used to play 78s all the time. She loved the musicals of the 1920s. She’d never been on the chorus line, but she’d a hankering for it. Her parents disapproved of theatrical folk and that was an end of that. So here’s a few words to make it all crystal. Did you ever see Ocean’s 11 - don’t matter whether it was the original Rat Pack version or the new ones with George Clooney and his pals? Did you notice how they always robbed the casinos. There was never a hint of walking through the door with a system for winning at the tables or on the slot machines. Hollywood got it right for once. The only way you guarantee a big score at a casino is as a thief - and you’ve to be lucky to enjoy your “takings” and avoid the hail of bullets if you get caught by wrong people. Anyways, one of my favorites was Banana Oil - kinda like snake oil but always applied to lounge-lizard lines. “When he tells you, ‘I adore you,’ that’s banana oil.” In other words, everything he said to get his mark into bed was bullshit. Well, the same goes for all these salesmen pushing betting systems for slot machines. They’re trying to scam you outa your money. Take it from me. There ain’t no system around that even dents the House edge on games where the probabilities are set in the House’s favor. Math is math. Mind you. It’s not my money - you wanna fool yourself you can shade the odds in your favor on video poker, then feel free. So, how do these systems work? You’re supposed to base your bets on the most recent outcomes. Take roulette as an example. Wait for a run of blacks, then bet on red - the longer the run, the bigger the bets on red. If you see a pattern emerging, you’re supposed to think that the probabilities of the game itself have changed. When I worked for casinos, we always nodded wisely when someone cautiously asked if they could play a system. Another little chicken ripe for the plucking. My father was counting deaths by the million over decades for the life companies. Probabilities and statistics only make sense in the long view. Short-term, you’ll find anomalies in all slot machines but, over time, the basic patterns are set in stone and in the House’s favor. You’ll see lucky streaks that look like they’re never going to end. But, so long as the House keeps its nerve, the winner will lose it all back again. You’ve invested that money in a system. You’re not going to quit while you’re ahead, are you? Which means that any small winnings you picked up on the good days will all get given back to the casinos on the bad days. It’s just the way the House edge works. Like I say, you can’t beat the math. Which leaves me with my strategy, which I’ll get back to when I’m good and ready.

People are often seduced by the idea of everything for very little. That is why they often drop a coin or two into a slot machine as they walk into a real world casino. The myths are “out there”. Lightning can always strike you. These habits do have a basis in reality. There are real stories to back up the myths so, perhaps, it is always worth dropping a coin or two just on the off-chance…

One of the major companies in the casino games industry is Microsoft. In WinAJackpot.com, they have produced the first progressive network to link online, mobile and real-world jackpots. The net has just made a jackpot payout of slightly less than US$2.5m. Over the last three months, this is the second payout exceeding $2m. The total amount paid out on this system since its launch now stands at more than $33m.

So, our congratulations go to Rens.S. who, on the 1st February, was just $23,750 shy of $2.5m for a single spin of the wheels. Now, you might think this is a single system all on its own. It may be making big payouts, but not every progressive is making big payouts.

Well, meet Klaus E. from Finland. This April, he also became an instant millionaire. He risked an entire US$0.50 bet on the Mega-Moolah Progressive Slot Machine and managed to scoop $5.5m. That he was slightly surprised by his good fortune probably does not quite capture the moment.

Now we must all stay calm. These players are the exception that makes the rule that everyone who plays the slots ends up a loser. Ren and Klaus have joined a fairly exclusive band of players that have “hit the big time”. For the record, Klaus was the thirteenth player to become an instant millionaire on this particular online progressive (let no-one say that thirteen is always an unlucky number). But, by any standards, a win of more than $5m is fairly impressive. It brings the total winnings since the system came online to $27m.

When you do start looking at the facts, the online casino games industry is maturing fast. As millions more players on cross-platforms start to play, the progressive jackpots will rise more quickly. There will be more big payouts. You see that when your luck is in, you can suddenly find yourself rich for a small stake. When I was younger, cinemas used to run movies back-to-back in a rolling program through the day. You could go in and watch the cycle through as many times as you wanted. So this is where I came in when I started writing this article. People are fascinated by the prospect that, for a small outlay, they might hit it big. The trick is to keep the odds in perspective and never spend more than you can afford chasing the dream. Subject to that, it never hurts to drop a coin or two into one of the casino games. You never know, today might be your lucky day when fantasy does become reality and changes your life.

Resorts International opened in Atlantic City, the first legal East Coast casino. Their four- and six-deck online casino games offered a new form of surrender, dubbed by card counters as “early surrender,” since the casino allowed players to surrender half a bet even when the dealer showed an ace or 10 up, and before the dealer checked for a blackjack. From opening day, card counters had a field day at Resorts’ tables. Ironically, as word spread through the gambling community that card counters found the Resorts’ blackjack game to be the most lucrative game for players in the country, gamblers from all over the world - most of whom knew nothing about basic strategy or card counting - flocked to their tables. And, ironically, Resorts International was soon the most profitable casino in history, winning an average of $650,000 per day.

A New Jersey college student whose name was Tommy Hyland, who had just turned twenty-one, started going to AC when he heard about the famous black jack on the east coast. Within a year, he had organized about twenty of his college and golfing buddies into a team of blackjack players. This team was equiped with only brains and knowledge.

The other event occured in that day was that MIT team started its black jack activity. Johnny C.j now a legendary player who joined the team in 1981, plays high-stakes blackjack to this day and continues organizing teams of professional players. Many believe these teams owe their existence to the Resorts’ game with its early surrender rule that made the game so easy to beat. College kids found that they could pool their money, play blackjack with a modicum of intelligence, and get rich quick.

A team of professional blackjack players whose founders were from Czechoslovakia that had been playing in Las Vegas flew all of their members to Atlantic City to take advantage of this new surrender rule. This team, which later became known in the casino industry as simply the Czech Team, found the Resorts’ game to their liking and stayed for months.

Ken Uston’s The Big Player had just been published in 1977 that worked together to create an environment where new teams of smart young kids could make millions playing blackjack.

Jack and me were shooting the breeze at the bar when the young fellah called. “How much you need to play to become professional in video poker?” - he asked. Laugh? I coulda died. If ever anyone was begging to be called a girlie man - Schwarzenegger was right on the money with that - he’s the one. Him a gambler? The very idea of him losing a quarter in slot machines would give him gas. But I guess he’s got a right to ask for you - not that I’m inspired with confidence looking round at you. You’re just playing the pro game in your heads when you read these articles. Ain’t nothing gonna come of it. Anyways, let’s keep the dream going a while longer. That Mr. Ferguson fellah calculates you’d need $10,000 if you wanna turn pro and play the quarter video poker machines. It’s very optimistic even to multiple this only by four if you play in real casino. I’ve seen people burn that and never hit a jackpot. The Math God don’t care nothing for you. If you hit a run of cold machines, ain’t nothing you can do ‘cept play through the patch until you come out the other side. And now the time has come to use your brains. So I used a pen Jack loaned to me and we’ve created a greatest mathematical model I ever seen. You’ve got the proper video poker strategy nailed. That kinda calculation would make Mr. Ferguson’s number look a smart bet. But ya gotta ask yourself, what kinda assumptions are we making? Are we assuming you’ve got an infinite amount of cash - that you’re gonna play video poker until all the probabilities work out like the book says they should? And you’ve never gotta take a restroom break or sleep some? Don’t matter whether you’re playing a flat top or a progressive. If it’s a flat top, ya take a break and the next player on “your” video poker machine takes the pot. Playing the progressive, that jackpot can always go somewhere else no matter how fast and well ya play. When you decide to give up, how much have you already spend? Ten grand might be enough to give ya that cushion. But ya might need the kinda eye-poppin’ wad some whale tosses on the table like it’s loose change before ya break even. Are you ready to lose all that? And don’t you never forget. Once you’re tapped out, you’re outa the video poker game until you get the front money together again. Still reading, are ya? Jack here’s got an expression like he’s sucking on a lemon. He thinks I’m being too hard on ya all. I should make like an angel now I’ve crossed over to your side of the casino. OK. So think of this like video poker boot camp. I’m the ex-soldier of USA Navy and I’m going to give you all the love you missed for all this years. You’ll be all the better for it. Well, that’s me done again. Catch ya ’round.